Great article! It’s hard enough getting young men in my office to pull up their fucking pants without them seeing Olympic athletes baring all. Why does every male under the age of 30 think we want to know his brand of underwear?
Good riddance to the skate-punk Sochi Olympics Whatever happened to athletic artistry and elegance?
By Damon Linker
Pull up your pants, brah, this is the Olympics.
With the 2014 Winter Olympics coming to an end on Sunday evening, I can’t help but wonder if I’m the only one who found something deeply dissatisfying about them.
I don’t mean to denigrate the efforts and achievements of any of the athletes. Everyone works incredibly hard to make it into the Games, and those who come out on top possess physical prowess so far in excess of my abilities that they might as well be considered members of a different species.
Enough of the pics of his last skate, bent over and in pain. I hope that as soon as he was off camera they shot him up with every single banned drug they could get their hands on. Right now he should be floating on a morphine cloud if there’s any justice in this world.
Here’s the Evgeni Plushenko I remember. What an amazing skater. Always a thrill to watch
Four days before the Winter Games begin, Sochi staffers are looking for a few goose men
The Olympics officially kick off Friday. We imagine many a staffer and volunteer are scurrying around the Black Sea resort of Sochi, trying to prepare for the glamorous opening ceremony and making sure all security protocols are in place. But it turns out that Russia, despite spending a reported $51 billion on the most expensive Olympics ever, neglected a few key details.
It appears there aren’t enough pillows for the athletes in the Olympic Village. This news comes via the Instagram posts of Luiza Baybakova, a member of the catering staff for the games..
Sochi is clearly and massively underprepared. It’s sad and alarming, considering the allegations of corruption and abuse surrounding these games. But there’s at least one amusing takeaway: the hashtags posted by Baybakova (which admittedly might seem funnier in English): “Help with the pillows! #Sochi2014 #Olympics #OlympicCamp #OlympicVillage #ManyAthletes #PillowForEveryone #TakingPillows #CantSleepWithNoPillow.”
On a subsequent post featuring a pillow, she added, “#TheyreTakingOurPillows #OlympicPillow #WhereDoAthletesComeFrom #PlzDontTake.”
And here’s a notice to volunteers, which translates as follows:
“ATTENTION, DEAR COLLEAGUES!
Due to an extreme shortage of pillows for athletes who unexpectedly arrived to Olympic Village in the mountains, there will be a transfer of pillows from all apartments to the storehouse on 2 February 2014. Please be understanding. We have to help the athletes out of this bind.”
Canadian skier Sebastien Toutant posted this image of a bathroom sign in Sochi, ahead of the Winter Olympics, Feb. 1, 2014. (@SebToots/Twitter)
There are going to be a lot of rules at the Sochi Olympics, as Russia and world athletes strive for tight security, but some of the strictest and strangest may come inside the bathroom. Canadian snowboarder Sebastien Toutant tweeted a photo this past weekend of a sign hanging inside the bathroom in the Sochi games.
No fishing in the toilets. That’s a good one to remember in loos around the world, Olympics fans.