Fuck you Android Framework
Fuck you Android Framework for those horrible XML I have to write for each screen density. Fuck you for your useless layout editor that generates spaghetti code every time I change something. Fuck you for that Constraint Layout which is the most unused library till this date.
Fuck you for those horrible core components like activities and fragments. Fuck Android OS that can not even manage state changes by itself. Fuck you for those TransactionTooLargeException. I can’t even simply pass the data between UI. Oh, I forgot to fuck all those IllegalStateException from FragmentManager. Fuck you for making me so ill to write this fucking boilerplate code for content providers.
750 grams well-layered, skin-on pork belly
2 pig ears (about 350 grams in total)
Cooking oil, as needed
1 onion (about 220 grams), chopped
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
200 grams chicken livers, finely chopped
4-8 red bird’s-eye chillies (or more to taste), chopped
1 green banana chilli, cut into 5mm pieces
About 20ml fish sauce
About 20ml fresh calamansi juice
About 30ml vinegar (distilled white, rice or
Fine sea salt and fresh ground black pepper
Fresh calamansi limes, halved
1-2 3mm-thick slices of red onion, chopped
2 eggs (use only one if serving half the recipe)
Use a butane (or propane) torch to singe off the hairs on the pig ears and the skin of the pork belly. Rinse the ears and belly with water. Fill a large pot about three-quarters of the way with water, add about 10 grams of salt and bring to the boil. Add the belly and ears, bring to the boil, then lower the heat and simmer for about 90 minutes, or until the pieces are tender enough to be easily pierced with a paring knife. Remove the belly and ears from the water and as soon as they’re cool enough to handle, finely chop them.
Heat a wok or pan (preferably well-seasoned cast-iron or carbon steel) over a medium-high flame. If using cast-iron or carbon steel, rub oil very lightly into the interior; if using stainless steel, add about 20ml of cooking oil, or more as needed to prevent the pork from sticking. When the wok/pan is hot, add the chopped belly and ears and cook, stirring frequently. The fat will start to render out of the pieces, which will turn brown and crisp. Remove the solids from the pan, leaving behind as much fat as possible. If there’s more than about 30ml of fat, pour off some of it; if there’s less than 30ml of fat, add cooking oil to the pan. Heat it over a medium flame then add the onion and garlic and cook, stirring often, until the onion is soft. Add the pork back to the pan, season it lightly with salt and stir it until it starts to sizzle. Mix in the chicken liver, red and green chillies, fish sauce, calamansi juice, vinegar and some black pepper. Stir constantly until the chicken liver is cooked, then taste for seasoning and adjust as needed. Scoop the sisig onto a hot, lightly oiled sizzler platter (or a plate) then scatter the red onion pieces on top. Make two craters in the sisig then crack two eggs and put one into each indentation. Drizzle with mayonnaise (if using) and add several fresh calamansi pieces. Squeeze the juice from the calamansi, then mix in the egg and mayonnaise.
600 grams cooked long-grain rice, chilled
10 garlic cloves, chopped
About 45ml cooking oil (or lard)
Fine sea salt
Use dampened hands to break up any lumps of rice. Put 45ml of oil (or lard) in a wok, add the garlic and heat over a low flame until the garlic is medium golden. Watch it carefully and stir frequently so it doesn’t burn. Use a slotted skimmer to scoop the garlic from the pan, leaving behind the fat. Heat the wok over a medium-high flame, add the rice, season with salt and mix in about three-quarters of the fried garlic. Stir-fry until the rice is hot, adding more oil or lard if needed to prevent it from sticking to the pan. Scoop the rice into a serving bowl and scatter the reserved garlic on top.